Many parents want to be “good parents” to their children.
They wish to give their children everything within their means, and to raise them without any lack.

Every parent hopes their child will grow up well, but sometimes wonders if their own ambitions might become a burden.

Even when parents hope their children will just follow one simple thing, kids don’t always understand their hearts—they run around, wild and carefree.

So, what do you think is the ultimate goal of parenting?

Is it to nurture your child’s abilities so they can join elite groups and make greater contributions to society?
Is it to develop a personality that respects and cares for others?
Or perhaps to cultivate an upright and resilient inner self?

Parents’ values may differ, but there is one thing all parents have in common:

“I want my child to grow up well, to shine wherever they go, and to help others along the way.”

Here is what I believe the ultimate goal of parenting should be:

1. To raise children who are emotionally stable
   Attachment theory, emotional regulation, social–emotional development, self-efficacy

2. To help them grow into independent individuals
   Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan), self-directed learning, self-actualization

3. To enable them to function fully as independent members of society
   Socialization, moral development theories, social cognitive development

Let’s look at each point in more detail:

1. Emotionally unstable children often struggle with impulsiveness, aggression, depression, or social withdrawal, and tend to rely emotionally on others due to low self-trust, experiencing high levels of stress throughout life.

2. Children who lack independence may have weaker problem-solving skills and less emotional resilience, are more likely to shift responsibility to others, and are more easily stressed in new environments compared to independent peers.

3. Humans are social animals—society is built on individuals fulfilling their roles.
   When each person carries out their duties with integrity, we create a healthy, robust community.
   As individuals, we feel a sense of belonging and achievement through carrying out our roles and responsibilities.

Children raised with these goals in mind tend to develop clear self-concepts, empathy, respect for others, and emotional resilience that protects their inner stability.

If children do not build self-efficacy and resilience through a variety of experiences with their parents during childhood,
how can they expect to develop and stabilize their inner selves when they are suddenly thrown into society later on?

There’s a common saying:
“ I’m a first-time mom/dad, too… ”
Yes—everyone is new at first. We all make mistakes and fumble along the way.

But failing to learn about proper parenting just because it’s your first time is never justified.

Although I have never raised a child myself,
I was a child who, despite having parents, had to grow up on my own.

That is why, perhaps more than anyone else, I have deeply considered what children truly need.

A child’s happiness in their formative years is, more than anything, a reflection of their parents.